Hard

Today one of my teacher friends texted me...

"Do you want to come back to RMMS and teach art? We want you back!"

Apparently the teacher they hired resigned and they want me to come back.

On one hand I am extremely flattered. I miss RMMS, the kids, the teachers so very badly. I miss making a difference, teaching, being there for middle schoolers, interacting with adults and kids, being apart of something bigger than myself, watching kids fall in love with art. I have days that I miss it so bad it hurts. It would be extremely nice to have more money to pay things off faster and save for a house. To have insurance for free!

But...

Every time I picture myself in the classroom I miss my son tremendously. I get sad thinking about dropping him off, even if it would be to a grandma's house. I get sad thinking that I would miss watching him grow, learn and develop. I can't even think about getting updates about what his day was like rather than witnessing them for myself.

Is it tempting to go back? You better believe it! Do I miss it? 100% But I'm where I'm supposed to be doing what I am supposed to be doing and I love it!

....

"I can't even begin to tell you how much I would love to come back! But I'm afraid I would be useless because I would miss my son too much! I miss you guys like crazy! Good luck finding someone!"